My friends, they love my intelligence
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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