She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
