Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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