Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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