It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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