do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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