Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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