Ambien. No doubt about it.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
