that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
