So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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