He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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