My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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