Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
