just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.