Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.