Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
