why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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