well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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