I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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