Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
