Screwed.edu
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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