at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize