You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize