This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
