Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
