South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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