Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This girl is more easily done than said...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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