My room smells like vodka and shame
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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