what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
