How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
