Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
