Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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