I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
