community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize