There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
