Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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