who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
