Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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