You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you inspire me to be a worse person
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
