I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dignity is for republicans.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
