Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
