I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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