birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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