It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize