Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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