what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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