I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
