ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
