you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
