Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
