singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
