I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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