I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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