hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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