Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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