i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
