Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
