I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
