He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
