ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
