Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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