someone get that fucking seahorse.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
