It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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