My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
