Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
