Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
