so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
vagina is talking i cant
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
