Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
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Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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