There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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