if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
