So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You've changed since you got that strap on
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
